Content and Alone

"Do no harm, but take no BS." I am a sensitive person.  I like to be told of how I make people feel good.  I love to be in relationships, family, friends, it doesn't matter I love to be involved with people.  I am a social butterfly.  I love to be needed, but mostly, I want to be wanted.  Not to sound selfish at all, but I am an extrovert and I love the attention and giving attention.  Except, when I feel that I am being used, that is when I shut down.  I no longer feel good with that person anymore.  Usually it is because they no longer want me and for that, now they don't appreciate my time but they need me to fill it.  I don't take my time easily, my time is precious because I want to spend it doing things I enjoy.  If I am only a place holder, I do not want to be there.  But how do you know, how do you feel honesty and know it is true?


I never ever want to hurt people, ever.  I want to be kind, honest, caring and empathetic that is my goal in life.  I don't want any harm to come to someone from my actions, I also do not want to be taken advantage of.  But unfortunately I do make mistakes; the thing I'm learning is that mistakes are to grow you and to not be repeated.


I want to share a journey of walking this earth as a person in touch with herself.  No longer making friends and trying to fit in but fitting my friends to who I am.  To be honest, not only with others, but for once with myself.  I no longer will settle.  No more self destruction.  My journey will be finding myself in the chaos of life.  Because living life isn't just settling in every situation it is going above and beyond in any environment, any relationship and that includes yourself.  Settling comes from being un-content with yourself.  To look down on who you are.  No one should ever feel that way about themselves.  I'm not exactly sure how to figure this out, but I am so excited for a journey with being content with aloneness, not loneliness, but aloneness. There is a huge difference between those two words.  For the rest of this summer I will be discovering aloneness, and for once, I am completely thrilled.