Hi.
My name is Hope
Kubiak newly established 15 days before we met.
When we met it was not at the best time for you. I could see that (I felt it too). Let me tell you a little about myself. I hail from a little town in
North County San Diego, most people don’t know where that is till I say more familiar towns.
I grew up in the same house my dad grew up in. It is not even 1,000 sqft. But I love it. In the backyard he taught me how to defend
myself. We put on boxing gloves and
pretended to punch each other. Oh yeah,
I was also homeschooled. My dad taught a
class about self-defense. It was my
whole class in all my education I paid attention to. My dad would call my mom and tell her he was
going to come home, change out of his painting clothes and after a long day of
going up and down ladders he was going to teach his daughters how to defend themselves. He was exhausted, I don’t know where you come
from but in Southern California it is very hot.
We have two seasons “hot” and “not too hot.” But he took this time to show us some
tricks. I showed them to you too. My dad is not touchy feel-y as some others, the
way he shows love is teaching and pouring his time into us. At my wedding, you would have thought he was
very emotional but I tell you, I’ve only seen my dad cry a few times. He always made sure we knew with the right
moves we could control a situation. He
also taught us to love everyone. My dad was
someone everyone respects, even if you disagree with the man, you will respect
him. Though he didn’t go out often his
girls were all over, social butterflies, we honored him wherever we went and
whenever people saw my dad you’d hear something on the lines of “your girls are
great” or “you are one great father your girls represent you well” and my
personal favorite “I just love your wife and your girls.” He is kind, loving and a father who will
swoop you up when you are down. I wonder
if you didn’t have that in your life.
Everyone deserves a good father.
Now let me tell you about the other half of me, my mom. Most people call her the pioneer woman. She is strong enough to take anyone out, she
also knows karate. She isn't very mama
bear as some people have in their moms.
She protected us and guided us but in a way, you didn’t even know she
was doing it. My mom has spirit. Luckily enough for me she brought out my
spirit, unlucky for her unfortunately.
That spirit argued every day, told her “no” more times than I probably
have ever said it to anyone else. She
taught me to do whatever I wanted in a guided fashion. Listen to advice, ask for help and most
importantly be who you are without regret.
My mother is known for trail blazing. She doesn’t take “no” for an
answer and she really hates maybes and the word “whatever.” My mom shed a lot of tears for me. That spirit got us into a lot of battles, I
say battles because the definition talks about resisting something, and I was
determined to resist her directions. Sometimes
she would be so sick of these struggles she would threaten to get me out of the
house by sending me to public school. But
I knew that was an empty threat. Because
my mom loved me and she was a fighter, if she didn’t have something to “mother”
she wouldn’t think she was doing enough.
If you want to know a secret about my mom I’ll tell ya: my mom will make sure she does her part, she
will hurt herself just to make sure her weight is being pulled. My mother is not one to surrender and to lose
a battle was to surrender, my mother made darn sure I always yielded (even if I
did it my own way). You see, you must
get the picture now.
When you came at me you didn’t just come at me. You came at my family. There are two other very important people you
need to know. People who’ve always had
my back. My sisters. See you met a little bit of them. I don’t want you to know their names I feel
you don’t get that, so Jasmine and Johnson are the names I’ll use. Jasmine is loud with a huge heart. When we would go to parties you could hear
her voice in the other room Johnson and I would thrive off that! It made us
feel comfortable knowing there was someone here who believed in us who was
having fun and who could make anyone feel comfortable. Jasmine is opinionated. She will tell you what she thinks. She will not back down when she has something
she believes in. I respect that so much, it might have been frustrating growing up but you know now as adults it’s
something I admire. She is transparent
you never must wonder where she is coming from because she has already told
you. Johnson is similar in that way, however she is quiet. I would not say
silent as I originally thought of saying.
She is strong. Man is she tough
but oh so gentle. She cares with all her
heart and sometimes that gets her hurt.
Johnson loves to laugh, she loves to share moments with people one on
one. When she has you just her and you,
you feel like you are the most important person in the world. She has a way to stop the world from spinning
and get you in the right place, she can calculate a room full of people and
know exactly what to do. She is slow to speak and quick to attend. Because of Jasmine’s volume and strength with
Johnson’s ability to respond to a crisis you got a taste of my sisters through
me.
This is the part where I met you. You grabbed me. Then as I used my dad’s training and my mom’s
determination you realized you had to go harder. So, you did.
You squeezed the breath right out of my lungs. You tried to make my feet leave the ground
but you soon realized that gave me enough room to swing my legs to kick your
shins. You changed tactics you decided
to try to just pull me along. That is
when jasmine’s volume and strength kicked in.
I started to scream I used the word I said to my mom a million times, I
am so skilled at saying it, I used jasmine’s volume and without warning I
screamed “NO!” It startled you I felt you loosen up even just for a second then
Johnson’s calculations started to buzz in my head. I knew I could not go with you I could not
give up my ground if I did you would be able to pull me along. I put my heels into the ground. Realizing I needed to do more I wondered
where it would hurt you the most. I
remember my sisters accidentally elbowing me right between my ribs there is a
good spot there. With the swiftness my dad taught me I stopped swinging at your
face, balled my hands into fists and pulled my hand away from my body as much
as I could then with my mom’s determination I slammed my elbow again and again
straight into that spot. Oh boy, I hurt
you. You squeezed so hard. I screamed
again. We stayed there for a while you were
meeting my whole family one by one.
Then you met me. I
didn’t let you win. I am the girl who
doesn’t let things go. I can’t let a bad
situation go. If I know justification is
not being served I will not stop. I
brought my stubbornness for what is right.
It was not right for you to grab me.
I wish you had someone fighting for you rather than against you. I am not glad we met, that would be a
lie. However, I am grateful the situation
ended the way it did my family is also.
I met you for a reason and right now I don’t know why maybe you needed
to meet me more, than me you. I will
become stronger and become even more of myself because of this. I hope you can find who you are with all the
parts of your family and friends that raised you as well. My hope is that you will find the good in
your life and focus on that.
Everyone
can do great things if you apply yourself and maybe it’s not you who you need
to focus on but those that make you great.
Sincerely,
The newly Mrs. Kubiak
