Today I made my event on Facebook for my graduation party, we all know it is real when Facebook has it officially as an event. I can't believe that I have gone through 4 years of college. Even though it has felt like a long time it also is a very small part of my life compared to the rest of my life. I am 21, hopefully I will live to be 90 which means only a little less than 1/3 of my life was spent in college. That is really nothing. But in these four years I have learned some valuable lessons.
1. Friends will magically appear, I just stepped out of my comfort zone for 10 seconds
I'm not saying they fall out of the clouds or something but they arrive at your front door sooner or later (sometimes literally, hi roommates). It could be the person who is in your group project who laughed at your joke, or the person who laughs with you at the teachers stupid jokes and you finally asked if he thinks they are funny, or just so pitiful you have to laugh. Even your roommate who invites you to a party that you would never say yes to except in those 10 seconds; or the person you ask if your in the right class on the first day which took you almost 10 minutes to finally ask. It doesn't matter how it begins it all can end the same, you could find a forever friend. Now this friend won't be like a friend who you have grown up with this friend is new and exciting and is really the best thing you need. Someone to complain with cause they know what you are feeling, exactly, someone who is low maintenance cause you're going to see them in class more than once a week so you don't have to worry about planning anything. It is great to have these types of friends and these friends teach you that one small interaction can lead to one great friendship.
2. It's okay to not know who I am and still stand up for what I believe is right
During college I had no idea who I was. I was going through so many different "identities," if you will, trying to figure out what I believed in. Sometimes I contradicted myself but, at that time, I thought that I was correct in believing in what I stood for on certain issues. I would be alone in my room at night and think to myself "who am I?" that question haunted me and sometimes still does. After four years of teachers teaching their opinions and realizing that I didn't agree, I finally figured out what I believed for the big topics, in the grand scheme of things. Hearing someone's opinion and thinking they are wrong, you realize, in that moment, what is right to you. You don't have to sit there and take what they say as fact, it is your chance to figure out what you believe, and sometimes that means your opinion gets changed and that's okay. Life is ever changing and your opinion can change, I think a lot of people forget having an open mind means that your opinion can be changed that isn't giving up on your beliefs it is recognizing you may have it wrong. You may not think you are wrong, I didn't and that's fine, then hold true to those things that you feel strongly about it will shape you as a person. I can proudly say I am so much closer to being the woman I wanna be and hey, I'm proud of me.
3. It's okay to say no, no really, don't go to the party it isn't fun go back to Netflix
I have been to a fraternity party, home group parties, kick backs, all kinds, they are not fun. I am sure some are fun and that's cool, I'm sure people at the same parties as me thought they were just roaring. But I'm that girl in the corner trying to sneak away from the crowd or silently wishing I was home, bra less, in sweatpants. It's cool to test the water, why not? But don't feel obliged to say yes and to keep appearances, it's fun to curl up with a good friend and to binge watch a show. I didn't have the "college experience" and I have no regrets!
4. Grades don't define me and timing is everything
I am stopping my education at my BA. I didn't even think I would make it this far, dropping out was not far from a good idea to me. Then I found out that grades aren't a make or break situation. Yes, you need good grades but you wouldn't be at a four year university if you didn't know that. But my motto was C is for complete and I ended up not even getting a C as a final grade in any of my classes at CSUN. In college there are so many other things to worry about, life is happening. I know that I feel like that is a contradiction to college, but it isn't. I had to complete the work that was ahead of me and complete it in a way that would mean that I was passing the class, but that doesn't mean I skip out on adventures. Go get that late night drink with a friend instead of studying through the night, go for a walk to clear your head with your roommate, listen to music and eat cheese balls together. School isn't everything, the college experience isn't everything, life is everything what feels good to you is what is important. I truly believe high school is where you find yourself, college you discover what you are made of, and then in the real world is where you build your reputation. Each stage you find a bit more of yourself so don't allow college to define you, if you get a C it's okay (depending on your major, sorry med students). It is all about finding timing, you can time in procrastination, that is probably the art of procrastination. Don't miss out on the people who are supporting you through this process, if you don't give them your time you don't get the support you need to keep going, boy do I know. Recharging through those around you is so important. I have one regret through my college years, I never used all my given absences and I wish I had, they are given for a reason use them up. I guess in my timing schedule through college I could fit all the classes in, but that might not be the case for everyone and sometimes those people who missed more than me got better grades. If your brain isn't in the class it is worthless being there anyway. Time it out, and remember the grades aren't your worth.
Cheers, 2016, I've waited for you.
